A man walks in to buy a suit, only to learn that the selection in
his size is rather limited.
“Not a problem,” promises the salesman. “I have just exactly the suit for you.”
So the guy puts the suit on and it's terrible. Nothing fits at all. The legs are baggy, the seat is too tight, the sleeves are way too long and half the seams seem twisted.
“What are trying to sell me?” asks the man, incredulously. “This thing's ridiculous. I can't wear this!”
“No, no,” says the salesman. “This is an exquisite suit, beautiful material, wonderful tailoring. But a suit this good, you have to know how to wear it. That's why you come to me. Here, let me show you. This leg here, I want you bend your knee just so. See how that looks in the mirror?”
“Well, gosh, you're right,” says the guy. “I just hadn't seen that before. But that does make a nice line. ... But, but, what am I saying?! Look at the rest of this thing!”
“No problem,” says the salesman. “Now let's do the other leg. See how nice that looks? Like I said, this is an exquisite suit and you have to know how to wear it.”
“Well, those pant legs do look really nice but we have to do something about the seat! How am I going to wear this?” demands the guy.
“Okay, here's what I want you to do. Push your hips forward a little. See? Now, that's a nice pair of trousers!”
“Well, you know, I don't know how I missed it the first time, but you're right, those pants look great! But, but, what am I saying? This jacket's absurd. I can't wear this!” insists the guy.
“No, no, here's what I want you to do. Bring your arm up like this. See? Notice how that sleeve drapes? Now, that's a quality suit!” This goes on for a while as the salesman shows the man how to hold his other arm, how to hunch his shoulders, pulling his chin back, and how to twist his torso just so. In the end, the man is absolutely amazed.
“You know, I just didn't think it was possible this suit could be right for me,” the man admits, “ but obviously it really is just a matter of learning how to wear it. I really appreciate your help.” So he pays for the suit and hobbles out of the store, careful to maintain the same pose he's learned.
Out on the street, he passes two old ladies and as they pass, the first whispers to the other, “What a poor old wretch, so crippled he can barely walk!”
“Yeah,” says the other. “But what an exquisite suit!”